The Hardest Part About Being a Fox
If you're in the furry fandom, this won't be news to you so much. If you're not...buckle up.
Whatever species you choose as your "fursona" in the furry fandom often dictates specific fandom-based stereotypes about you. Some of these play off of non-fandom cultural stereotypes or folklore. For example, wolves are considered dominant usually, super "alpha." Bunnies are known to, well, fuck like rabbits. And I suppose this isn't even a unique thing among non-furries either.
What I'm talking about is something I'll call bottom or fox envy.
With foxes, there's this understanding that you're just about the sluttiest thing that walks on two legs. You'll take dick from anyone, anywhere, anytime. No or few limits.
Even outside the fandom, bottom envy definitely exists. There's this idea that we have to compete to take the biggest dick possible. I know some bottoms who regularly train with toys, increasing in size, because they feel it says something about who they are as a sex partner, about how "good" they are at sex.
On one paw, I want to lecture about how it's ridiculous to have this kind of bottom envy. You should do what makes you feel comfortable. It's fine to push your boundaries of course, but really analyze the reasons why you're doing that. But on the other paw, I can't practice what I preach.
I get major fox envy when I see art of characters who are doing things I've never done, have been unable to do, or am scared to try but still find arousing. I get major bottom envy when I hear someone could take a dick bigger than I have, more cocks in one night than I've had, or had fewer limits than I've had. And this isn't just an in-my-head perception. Guys have called me, ME of all people, prudish for not being into the exact same kinks as they are. While I can say I'm definitely more of a B/d girl than an S/m one, I've done some crazy things.
But the struggle has always been real for me in that regard. I feel a large pressure from both the furry and non-furry communities to be the best bottom possible. To be the most limitless and sluttiest of foxy bottoms. And in some ways, that's part of how I measure my own desirability. As fucked as that sounds.
So, story time!
Absinthe came up to visit me a couple weekends ago, and we had planned to try a few new things. One thing that he has an avid interest in is watersports. For those who for whatever reason don't know what that is, it's urine play in sex.
I have never done anything remotely close to watersports before this trip. Nothing. I had not even tasted my own piss on a whim. Never.
TMI time!
I grew up without a father figure most of my childhood. In a Southern household with a lot of women. I heard more often than not that when you use the toilet you sit. So I developed that habit until my late college years. My dad eventually worked his way back into my family, but by that time the habit was there. And he got, pun intended, pissed.
He would literally stand by the bathroom door (even when I was in high school) trying to listen if I was peeing or number 2ing. He would look under the door to tell if I was sitting or standing. He would actually do those things to check. And he'd lecture me if he caught me sitting and peeing.
This created a lot of weird mental habits for me. For one, I always turn the fan on, even if I'm just peeing. The idea that someone could hear me use the restroom terrifies me. It's totally irrational, but it's there. I can't use a public urinal. I always use a stall. So I am definitely what you'd call pee-shy. Definitely.
So watersports was something I had for a long time viewed as gross. But when I learned my new boyfriend was into it, I occasionally started looking at furry art. Hell, seeing furry art back in college helped me realize I might be into guys, and it got me into bondage. Why couldn't it do other things? And I noticed trends about what kinds of watersports I saw as hot.
In cases where the stream was clear, I thought it was hot. I saw that as just general bodily fluid exchange, like spit or cum. Was hot.
In cases where the stream wasn't shown, like anal or deepthroat, I thought it was hot. If I was in that situation, surely, I could not think about what it was, and it'd be fine. Again, kinda hot.
I didn't like when the stream was visible and very vivid yellow. The fantasy broke at that point for me.
Now, when it came to Sin coming up a few weekends ago, it was my idea to try it. I wanted to. I had never done it before. It couldn't hurt to try. I trusted Sin enough to try it with him; I knew if it didn't work out, he would stop and wouldn't push me on it.
Part of our ongoing sex game is that we have a sorted folder of furry art (sorted into subfolders like bondage, poses, toys, etc.), and we try to get photos as close to the image as possible. I'll never post the actual art here without the artist's permission, but I will link it! In this case, the image I found for an attempt at watersports was here. Art by Elbestia.
I told him I wanted to just try it in the shower, in my mouth. That's the worst it could be. I wouldn't be seeing it. And, to my knowledge, that's not really something you could work up to. Being peed in your ass, to my knowledge again, is nothing like tasting it. So I thought this was something you might as well dive right in for.
Sin, the perfect gentleman, asked a million times if I was sure. We developed a safe sign if I was done, etc. And we tried it.
Here is a video of it!
And a photo!
The video wasn't the full length (at least I think I lasted longer than nine seconds). It started out fine. I was able to swallow probably the first third to half of it. But then, just the smell hit me. I could feel it go up the back of my throat to my nostrils, and I gagged. I didn't vomit or anything, but I did spit out what was in my mouth at that point, and couldn't take any more orally. I think I gagged a couple more times, but I was fine.
Sin asked if I was alright, and I just nodded yeah. I remember feeling a bit nauseated at that point. My baby has the best tasting cum around, but I'm not confident I can say he has the best tasting piss...but I'm not sure I'm ready to ask around town for other samples to compare either.
As I told him later, I probably wouldn't do it again orally, at least not with an intent to swallow. I'd probably be fine with being pissed on in the shower. And I'm definitely fine with anal stuff. But probably not swallowing. That left a bad taste in my mouth for a few hours. And my burps were awful.
But despite this, I felt so embarrassed and disappointed in myself about this. There are countless bottoms who love doing WS. It's like, the measure of a good, kinky submissive, right? Despite Sin's reassurances, I felt and still do feel shitty about it. Lots of insecurities. Immediate questions at the time were, "Why am I not good enough? What haven't I been doing right?" And yeah, again, it's irrational, but that's that bottom / fox envy I'm talking about.
I'm anticipating two mental responses to this, and I take issue with both of them.
1. "It's ok not to like piss. It's gross. I think you're plenty kinky / sexy without it." Yeah, I guess, but part of me feels like it cuts me off from a whole side of sexual experience both with my partner and with others.
2. "Well, yeah, it's fun, but not everyone's meant for it." Oh stfu, you condescending prick. I mean, maybe you're 100% right, but I don't have to like it.
Whatever species you choose as your "fursona" in the furry fandom often dictates specific fandom-based stereotypes about you. Some of these play off of non-fandom cultural stereotypes or folklore. For example, wolves are considered dominant usually, super "alpha." Bunnies are known to, well, fuck like rabbits. And I suppose this isn't even a unique thing among non-furries either.
What I'm talking about is something I'll call bottom or fox envy.
With foxes, there's this understanding that you're just about the sluttiest thing that walks on two legs. You'll take dick from anyone, anywhere, anytime. No or few limits.
Even outside the fandom, bottom envy definitely exists. There's this idea that we have to compete to take the biggest dick possible. I know some bottoms who regularly train with toys, increasing in size, because they feel it says something about who they are as a sex partner, about how "good" they are at sex.
On one paw, I want to lecture about how it's ridiculous to have this kind of bottom envy. You should do what makes you feel comfortable. It's fine to push your boundaries of course, but really analyze the reasons why you're doing that. But on the other paw, I can't practice what I preach.
I get major fox envy when I see art of characters who are doing things I've never done, have been unable to do, or am scared to try but still find arousing. I get major bottom envy when I hear someone could take a dick bigger than I have, more cocks in one night than I've had, or had fewer limits than I've had. And this isn't just an in-my-head perception. Guys have called me, ME of all people, prudish for not being into the exact same kinks as they are. While I can say I'm definitely more of a B/d girl than an S/m one, I've done some crazy things.
But the struggle has always been real for me in that regard. I feel a large pressure from both the furry and non-furry communities to be the best bottom possible. To be the most limitless and sluttiest of foxy bottoms. And in some ways, that's part of how I measure my own desirability. As fucked as that sounds.
So, story time!
Absinthe came up to visit me a couple weekends ago, and we had planned to try a few new things. One thing that he has an avid interest in is watersports. For those who for whatever reason don't know what that is, it's urine play in sex.
I have never done anything remotely close to watersports before this trip. Nothing. I had not even tasted my own piss on a whim. Never.
TMI time!
I grew up without a father figure most of my childhood. In a Southern household with a lot of women. I heard more often than not that when you use the toilet you sit. So I developed that habit until my late college years. My dad eventually worked his way back into my family, but by that time the habit was there. And he got, pun intended, pissed.
He would literally stand by the bathroom door (even when I was in high school) trying to listen if I was peeing or number 2ing. He would look under the door to tell if I was sitting or standing. He would actually do those things to check. And he'd lecture me if he caught me sitting and peeing.
This created a lot of weird mental habits for me. For one, I always turn the fan on, even if I'm just peeing. The idea that someone could hear me use the restroom terrifies me. It's totally irrational, but it's there. I can't use a public urinal. I always use a stall. So I am definitely what you'd call pee-shy. Definitely.
So watersports was something I had for a long time viewed as gross. But when I learned my new boyfriend was into it, I occasionally started looking at furry art. Hell, seeing furry art back in college helped me realize I might be into guys, and it got me into bondage. Why couldn't it do other things? And I noticed trends about what kinds of watersports I saw as hot.
In cases where the stream was clear, I thought it was hot. I saw that as just general bodily fluid exchange, like spit or cum. Was hot.
In cases where the stream wasn't shown, like anal or deepthroat, I thought it was hot. If I was in that situation, surely, I could not think about what it was, and it'd be fine. Again, kinda hot.
I didn't like when the stream was visible and very vivid yellow. The fantasy broke at that point for me.
Now, when it came to Sin coming up a few weekends ago, it was my idea to try it. I wanted to. I had never done it before. It couldn't hurt to try. I trusted Sin enough to try it with him; I knew if it didn't work out, he would stop and wouldn't push me on it.
Part of our ongoing sex game is that we have a sorted folder of furry art (sorted into subfolders like bondage, poses, toys, etc.), and we try to get photos as close to the image as possible. I'll never post the actual art here without the artist's permission, but I will link it! In this case, the image I found for an attempt at watersports was here. Art by Elbestia.
I told him I wanted to just try it in the shower, in my mouth. That's the worst it could be. I wouldn't be seeing it. And, to my knowledge, that's not really something you could work up to. Being peed in your ass, to my knowledge again, is nothing like tasting it. So I thought this was something you might as well dive right in for.
Sin, the perfect gentleman, asked a million times if I was sure. We developed a safe sign if I was done, etc. And we tried it.
Here is a video of it!
And a photo!
The video wasn't the full length (at least I think I lasted longer than nine seconds). It started out fine. I was able to swallow probably the first third to half of it. But then, just the smell hit me. I could feel it go up the back of my throat to my nostrils, and I gagged. I didn't vomit or anything, but I did spit out what was in my mouth at that point, and couldn't take any more orally. I think I gagged a couple more times, but I was fine.
Sin asked if I was alright, and I just nodded yeah. I remember feeling a bit nauseated at that point. My baby has the best tasting cum around, but I'm not confident I can say he has the best tasting piss...but I'm not sure I'm ready to ask around town for other samples to compare either.
As I told him later, I probably wouldn't do it again orally, at least not with an intent to swallow. I'd probably be fine with being pissed on in the shower. And I'm definitely fine with anal stuff. But probably not swallowing. That left a bad taste in my mouth for a few hours. And my burps were awful.
But despite this, I felt so embarrassed and disappointed in myself about this. There are countless bottoms who love doing WS. It's like, the measure of a good, kinky submissive, right? Despite Sin's reassurances, I felt and still do feel shitty about it. Lots of insecurities. Immediate questions at the time were, "Why am I not good enough? What haven't I been doing right?" And yeah, again, it's irrational, but that's that bottom / fox envy I'm talking about.
I'm anticipating two mental responses to this, and I take issue with both of them.
1. "It's ok not to like piss. It's gross. I think you're plenty kinky / sexy without it." Yeah, I guess, but part of me feels like it cuts me off from a whole side of sexual experience both with my partner and with others.
2. "Well, yeah, it's fun, but not everyone's meant for it." Oh stfu, you condescending prick. I mean, maybe you're 100% right, but I don't have to like it.
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